8 min read · 2020-02-26 · It's not simple. But it's part of being human.
"Journaling is also an outlet for processing emotions, and doing it on an ongoing basis can help increase your self-awareness."
Approval-seeking is usually a childhood-created coping strategy. Did you feel a need to get love from your parents and create ways to gain their approval? Did you struggle to make friends at school, and subsequently develop a fear of being rejected?" she said. "By identifying where the approval-seeking started, you can identify the types of situations that trigger your need for approval in your current life."
5 min read · Aug 4th · Struggling to understand is perfectly honourable. Being wilfully stupid is something else and we should strive to fix it
At its heart was the idea that stupidity was not mere ‘dumbness’, not a brute lack of processing power. Dumbness, for Musil, was ‘straightforward’, indeed almost ‘honourable’. Stupidity was something very different and much more dangerous: dangerous precisely because some of the smartest people, the least dumb, were often the most stupid.
What exactly is stupidity? How does it relate to morality: can you be morally good and stupid, for example?
Stupidity is rather one specific and stubborn cause of error.
8 min read · From 2017 · Dating websites have changed the way couples meet. Now evidence is emerging that this change is influencing levels of interracial marriage and even the stability of marriage itself.
20+ min read · From 2017 · I asked 1,500 people for relationship advice, and kept getting the same answers.
The other “wrong” reason to enter into a relationship is, like Greg said, to “fix” yourself. This desire to use the love of someone else to soothe your own emotional problems inevitably leads to codependence
Many people never learn how to breach this deep, unconditional love. Many people are instead addicted to the ups and downs of romantic love. They are in it for the feels, so to speak. And when the feels run out, so do they.
Amazingly, these couples survived because their respect for each other allowed them to adapt and allow each person to continue to flourish and grow.
4 min read · Jun 11th · Most people would agree: praise is one of the most effective ways to build children’s self-esteem. We are told to be generous with our praise, and to find as many opportunities as possible to praise…
Adults are inclined to give children with low self-esteem person praise (e.g., “You’re smart!”) and inflated praise
To be effective, praise should be honest, empathetic, and focused on effort rather than abilities
But we need to be mindful of the words we choose and what aspect of their work we focus on. By giving children the right kind of praise, we can increase their motivation and their self-esteem
6 min read · 2020-02-14 · Engaging with the unfamiliar can keep mind and body fit. So how to pump up one’s levels of curiosity?
And in people both young and old, research has found that high and consistent levels of curiosity correlate with mental well-being and life satisfaction. Curious people also seem protected from depression.
curiosity also involves a willingness to engage with complex, unfamiliar, and challenging concepts or endeavors.
Kashdan has helped develop two widely used scientific models for measuring curiosity. The newer of these models breaks curiosity down into five different categories or “dimensions.”
5 min read · Sep 28th · New research shows how decisions to stay or leave boil down to two main reasons.
People are either together (and intend to be) or they’re not (and don’t intend to be). However, another factor to consider, as Machia and Ogolsky point out, is that the reasons people stay may not be the opposite of the reasons they leave.
With this in mind, the focus of the Machia and Ogolsky investigation was on separating “stay” reasons from “leave” reasons,
Conversely, and consistent with Interdependence Theory, the most frequent reason for actually contemplating a breakup was the availability of an alternative partner.
4 min read · Sep 26th · “Isn’t the flesh a way to drink of the fountain of otherhood, a way to taste the not-I, a way to blur the edges and thus feel the fact of them?… You need to both remember where love lea…