Relationships

Family, friends, romance – discover Refind's best articles, videos and resources on relationships. Follow along on Refind to get the most relevant new links picked for you.
9 Best Articles in 2021
Mashable
How to stop caring what people think about youMashable
8 min read · 2020-02-26 · It's not simple. But it's part of being human.
psychology
relationships
mental health
Most highlighted
"Journaling is also an outlet for processing emotions, and doing it on an ongoing basis can help increase your self-awareness."
Approval-seeking is usually a childhood-created coping strategy. Did you feel a need to get love from your parents and create ways to gain their approval? Did you struggle to make friends at school, and subsequently develop a fear of being rejected?" she said. "By identifying where the approval-seeking started, you can identify the types of situations that trigger your need for approval in your current life."
The New York Times
Opinion | The Science of Reasoning With Unreasonable PeopleThe New York Times
6 min read · Jan 31st · Don’t try to change someone else’s mind. Instead, help them find their own motivation to change.
psychology
relationships
conflict
Most highlighted
Don’t try to change someone else’s mind. Instead, help them find their own motivation to change.
Psychologists find that when we listen carefully and call attention to the nuances in people’s own thinking, they become less extreme and more open in their views.
I no longer believe it’s my place to change anyone’s mind. All I can do is try to understand their thinking and ask if they’re open to some rethinking. The rest is up to them.
Aeon+Psyche
Why some of the smartest people can be so very stupidAeon+Psyche
5 min read · Aug 4th · Struggling to understand is perfectly honourable. Being wilfully stupid is something else and we should strive to fix it
relationships
psychology
leadership
Most highlighted
At its heart was the idea that stupidity was not mere ‘dumbness’, not a brute lack of processing power. Dumbness, for Musil, was ‘straightforward’, indeed almost ‘honourable’. Stupidity was something very different and much more dangerous: dangerous precisely because some of the smartest people, the least dumb, were often the most stupid.
What exactly is stupidity? How does it relate to morality: can you be morally good and stupid, for example?
Stupidity is rather one specific and stubborn cause of error.
MIT Technology Review
First Evidence That Online Dating Is Changing the Nature of SocietyMIT Technology Review
8 min read · From 2017 · Dating websites have changed the way couples meet. Now evidence is emerging that this change is influencing levels of interracial marriage and even the stability of marriage itself.
dating
social networks
technology
Quartz
Every successful relationship is successful for the same exact reasonsQuartz
20+ min read · From 2017 · I asked 1,500 people for relationship advice, and kept getting the same answers.
relationships
marriage
love
Most highlighted
The other “wrong” reason to enter into a relationship is, like Greg said, to “fix” yourself. This desire to use the love of someone else to soothe your own emotional problems inevitably leads to codependence
Many people never learn how to breach this deep, unconditional love. Many people are instead addicted to the ups and downs of romantic love. They are in it for the feels, so to speak. And when the feels run out, so do they.
Amazingly, these couples survived because their respect for each other allowed them to adapt and allow each person to continue to flourish and grow.
Ness Labs
The Praise Paradox: when well-​intended words backfireNess Labs
4 min read · Jun 11th · Most people would agree: praise is one of the most effective ways to build children’s self-esteem. We are told to be generous with our praise, and to find as many opportunities as possible to praise…
leadership
career
relationships
Most highlighted
Adults are inclined to give children with low self-esteem person praise (e.g., “You’re smart!”) and inflated praise
To be effective, praise should be honest, empathetic, and focused on effort rather than abilities
But we need to be mindful of the words we choose and what aspect of their work we focus on. By giving children the right kind of praise, we can increase their motivation and their self-esteem
The New York Times
The Losses We ShareThe New York Times
4 min read · 2020-11-25 · Perhaps the path to healing begins with three simple words: Are you OK?
mental health
relationships
empathy
Elemental
Curiosity Is the Secret to a Happy LifeElemental
6 min read · 2020-02-14 · Engaging with the unfamiliar can keep mind and body fit. So how to pump up one’s levels of curiosity?
psychology
self
relationships
Most highlighted
And in people both young and old, research has found that high and consistent levels of curiosity correlate with mental well-being and life satisfaction. Curious people also seem protected from depression.
curiosity also involves a willingness to engage with complex, unfamiliar, and challenging concepts or endeavors.
Kashdan has helped develop two widely used scientific models for measuring curiosity. The newer of these models breaks curiosity down into five different categories or “dimensions.”
The New York Times
Why You Will Marry the Wrong PersonThe New York Times
2 min read · From 2016 · Embrace a philosophy of pessimism. Every human will disappoint you, and you’ll do the same to them.
relationships
marriage
culture
New this week
Why parenting books are not really written for the parents
Aeon+Psyche
How to Create a Resilient, Divorce-Proof Relationship
Psychology Today
The Romance of American Activism in “Radical Love”
The New Yorker
What geometry taught me about awe, love and grief
Aeon+Psyche
5 Reasons Why Some People Keep Sabotaging Their Relationships
Psychology Today
4 Signs That You've Outgrown a Friendship
Psychology Today
4 Tips to Help You Manage Your Texting Anxiety
Psychology Today
Blue Marriage and The Terror of Divorce
Anne Helen Petersen
Ugh, Dating Is So Hard These Days When You’re an Insufferable Person with a Bland Personality
The New Yorker
Recently popular
Aeon+Psyche
Argue better by signalling your receptiveness with these wordsAeon+Psyche
8 min read · Oct 4th · All too often disagreements spiral into conflict. Prevent that happening by signalling your receptiveness with these words
relationships
career
language
Most highlighted
In a disagreement, explaining language, such as ‘because’ and ‘therefore’, can be seen as condescending. These kinds of assumptions about the world show a lack of intellectual humility
Similar to eating sugary food or staying up late, the thrill of speaking your mind is immediate, but the long-term costs to the relationship are obscured
Guardian US
Cultivate curiosity, and really listen: how to persuade people whose politics you don’t agree withGuardian US
9 min read · Oct 1st · The left wants to achieve far-reaching structural change – the sort of political reframing that requires coalition building. Are polarizing words throwing them off course?
relationships
psychology
Fast Company
How to make new friends as an adultFast Company
3 min read · Sep 14th · These three strategies can help if you’re looking to make new and meaningful connections.
relationships
Psychology Today
Of 15,000 Reasons to Stay in Relationships, Only Two MatterPsychology Today
5 min read · Sep 28th · New research shows how decisions to stay or leave boil down to two main reasons.
relationships
Most highlighted
People are either together (and intend to be) or they’re not (and don’t intend to be). However, another factor to consider, as Machia and Ogolsky point out, is that the reasons people stay may not be the opposite of the reasons they leave.
With this in mind, the focus of the Machia and Ogolsky investigation was on separating “stay” reasons from “leave” reasons,
Conversely, and consistent with Interdependence Theory, the most frequent reason for actually contemplating a breakup was the availability of an alternative partner.
VANITY FAIR
“I Knew It Was Doomed; I Knew Someone Was Doomed”: Inside Anthony Bourdain’s All-Consuming RelationshipVANITY FAIR
2 min read · Sep 23rd · In an excerpt from ‘Bourdain: The Definitive Oral Biography,’ friends, family, and colleagues describe the titan of the food world’s obsessive love affair with Asia Argento.
relationships
The New York Times
Opinion | Divorce Can Be an Act of Radical Self-LoveThe New York Times
5 min read · Sep 30th · I didn’t divorce my husband because I didn’t love him. I divorced my husband because I loved myself more.
relationships
Aeon+Psyche
The hug from a stranger that helped me overcome my griefAeon+Psyche
6 min read · Sep 23rd · Levinas explains how connecting with strangers helped me move through my grief to imagine new possibilities for the future
relationships
psychology
Brain Pickings
Love, Death, and Whitman: Poet Mark Doty on the Paradox of Desire and the Courage to Love…Brain Pickings
4 min read · Sep 26th · “Isn’t the flesh a way to drink of the fountain of otherhood, a way to taste the not-I, a way to blur the edges and thus feel the fact of them?… You need to both remember where love lea…
relationships
Psychology Today
Why We Ignore Relationship Red FlagsPsychology Today
5 min read · Sep 30th · How to avoid buyer’s remorse in your love life.
relationships
Psychology Today
Toxic Relationships: 3 Enabling Mindsets and 3 Ways to ResetPsychology Today
5 min read · Sep 30th · Leaving isn't always easy, but there are ways you can help yourself.
relationships
Most highlighted
Becoming your own inner cheerleader isn’t about being relentlessly optimistic or being a Pollyanna; it’s an antidote to the habit of self-blame and self-criticism.
self-talk isn’t telling yourself how wonderful you are but appreciating your efforts and the personal qualities that drove them even when those efforts fell short.
you can criticize yourself for folding at the end, but at the same time, appreciate the progress you made by speaking your truth.
Relationships

9 Best Articles in 2021

New this week

Recently popular

The 5 most relevant links from around the web. With summaries + highlights.

Welcome back
