If you do things from a place of guilt or obligation, it is guaranteed to lead to resentment," she says. Because when a people pleaser doesn't see someone spending the same amount of time or energy on them, that can make the people pleaser feel robbed.
A hard no is clear, concise and brief — "No, thank you" or a "Thanks so much for asking. But I'm not able to this week." A soft no might be easier for a recovering people pleaser. That's when you give more of an explanation. For example: "Thank you so much for asking me to do this project. It sounds really exciting, but I don't have the bandwidth for it at this time." Simple.
When your top priority is to be liked all the time, you aren't in touch with what you need.
10 min read · 2020-11-06 · Krystal Quiles There is an 8 out of 10 chance that you are one of the poorest people in the world. However, when I say you’re poor, I’m not talking about your bank account (although material poverty…
3 min read · Aug 27th · There is a kind of person who seems at first glance to have an admirable degree of self-motivation, thoroughness and drive. They are up at dawn, they rarely take holidays, they are always sneaking in…
We need to shift our sense of where our drive is coming from.
There will never be a point of rest or a lasting feeling of completion. In truth, we are ill rather than driven.
We become perfectionists from a primary sense of being unworthy; uninteresting, flawed, a disappointment, a let-down, a nuisance.
5 min read · Aug 21st · One of the reasons why we may end up acting more destructively and cruelly than we should is that it can take us a long time to fathom how someone like us could cause trouble for anyone. By ‘someone…
We are weak before the world and it is always more likely that someone else will be the aggressor.
The loving know how much everyone suffers from feelings of self-doubt, worthlessness, loneliness and pain beneath a veneer of imperviousness and strength.
At a collective level, we describe the heightened awareness of our susceptibility to insult and harm as ‘manners’