Many of us take it for granted that coping requires some degree of self-deception — but that’s just not true. Writer and podcaster Julia Galef shares some better strategies we can use t…
One of the most fundamental human needs is to feel like things are basically OK — that we’re not failures, that the world isn’t a horrible place, and that whatever life throws at us, we’ll be able to handle it.
“Whenever I have found out that I have blundered, or that my work has been imperfect, and when I have been contemptuously criticized, and even when I have been overpraised, so that I have felt mortified, it has been my greatest comfort to say hundreds of times to myself that ‘I have worked as hard and as well as I could, and no man can do more than this.'”
4 min read · 2020-04-15 · How could anyone possibly get through weeks of terrorized confinement without coming out the other side a worse version of their former self?
If I’m riding an optimistic streak and they aren’t, I feel stupid and delusional. If I’m wretched and they’re not, I feel guilty for bringing them down, or upset that they aren’t taking things seriously. As a result, it’s easier not to talk to anyone.
Anyone who grew up in a small town knows that the social rules of small towns largely revolve around waving: If you pass someone while driving, you wave; if you pass someone while walking on the opposite side of the street, you wave. It’s a bare-bones acknowledgment — the “wave” is one palm lifted, not a frantically oscillating hand. Doesn’t matter if you know the person or not. You just lift your goddamned hand.