3 healthier ways to cope with criticism, disappointment and defeat
Many of us take it for granted that coping requires some degree of self-deception — but that’s just not true. Writer and podcaster Julia Galef shares some better strategies we can use t…
«“a vitally important yet underappreciated skill: Being able to see things as they are, not as you wish they were.”»
More from TED Talks
Ever say “I’ll be happy when …?” Here’s why you need to stop doing that — now
Every time you say that or its cousins “If I just had ____” or “When I get through ____”, what you’re really saying is “I can’t be happy now.” Author and designer Ingrid Fet…
«when I catch myself saying some version of “I’ll be happy when …” I try to imagine myself in the future, looking back on right now.»
6 strategies that will make you a better reader — and person
Simple advice to help you get more out of the books you read, from author Ryan Holiday.
«Life is too short to read books you don’t enjoy reading. My rule is 100 pages minus your age — so if you’re 30 years old and a book hasn’t captivated you by page 70, stop reading it.»
5 ways to show you can lead — even when you don’t have a leadership role
If you want to become a team leader or manager, you’ll have to demonstrate that you can lead without having an official role to point to. Here’s how you do that, from organizational psycholog…
«Too many people try to shift blame and make excuses, but great leaders take ownership of problems and work to find lessons and solutions.»
Why does it hurt so much when we get ghosted? A psychologist explains
The uncertainty of ghosting is not really what causes us pain. Instead, it hits us at an even greater point of human vulnerability: Our desire to belong and be loved. Behavioral scientist Michelle …
«Caring about what people think is a protective process, designed to help us build a net of belongingness and safeguard us against the loss of love.»
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How to know what you really want
From career choices to new purchases, use René Girard’s mimetic theory to resist the herd and forge your own path in life
«These are people whose desires are in some sense intertwined with your own – they can affect your desires, and you can in turn affect theirs»
An ancient technique can improve your attention span
Modern conditions have overwhelmed our brain's attention system, but research shows 12 minutes of mindfulness training a day can help.
«Similarly, a negative mood can signal that something is wrong. That unease can propel you to solve the problem and lift the emotional pall.»
Why Great Things Never Came From Comfort Zones
Why great things never came from comfort zones? Because the world is always changing. We need to face uncertainty to move forward.
«But what you’ll find out eventually. If, of course, you decide to stick with these scary routines. Is that life feels much more meaningful.»
How to Process Negative Feedback
Tips for dealing with criticism—when you agree with it, and when you don’t
«In these more educational environments, where no one expects me to be perfect, negative feedback is reframed. It’s not criticism; it’s teaching.»
103 Bits of Advice I Wish I Had Known
Today is my birthday. I turn 70. I've learned a few things so far that might be helpful to others. For the past few years, I've jotted down bits of unsolicited advice each year and much to my surprise I
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