The Best of Timothy McSweeney
10+ most popular Timothy McSweeney articles, as voted by our community.
The official twitter feed of McSweeney's Quarterly Concern, McSweeney's Internet Tendency, & McSweeney's Books. Publisher of @illustoria and @believermag.
Timothy McSweeney on Books
If You Give a Bear Cocaine…
If you give a bear cocaine, he’s going to ask for more cocaine. When you give him the cocaine, he’ll probably ask you for a vodka chaser. When he’s...
Timothy McSweeney on Company Culture
Are You a Parent of a Toddler or an Assistant to a Male CEO of a Tech…
1. A disproportionate amount of your time is spent cleaning up messes and bringing him snacks. 2. He summons you by screaming your name at the top ...
Timothy McSweeney on Humor
New York Is Gone Forever (According to Me, a Baby With No Object Permanence)
I regret to inform you that New York no longer exists. Unfortunately, as soon as it was out of my sight on our family trip earlier this year, it di...
Timothy McSweeney on Love Language
List: New Love Languages
The concept of love languages was developed to analyze the ways in which we express and experience love. There were originally five of these langua...
Timothy McSweeney on Macroeconomics
Macroeconomic Changes Have Made It Impossible for Me to Want to Pay You
“Google announced plans to lay off 12,000 people from its workforce Friday, while Microsoft said Wednesday that it’s letting go of 10,000 employees...
Timothy McSweeney on Manufacturing
I’m a Google Manufacturing Robot and I Believe Humans Are Biologically Unfit to Have Jobs in Tech
I, a manufacturing robot at Google Factory C4.7, value diversity and inclusion. I also do not deny that machines are sometimes given preference to ...
Timothy McSweeney on Parenting
A Parent’s Typical Day, as Envisioned by My Child’s Preschool
I get up at 4:30 a.m. for some pre-dawn food prep. Today, it’s my turn to bring a snack and read a story for my son Ash’s preschool class. The scho...
Timothy McSweeney on TV
Two People Who Don’t Have Cable TV Talk About How They Don’t Have Cable TV, and How…
A: I don’t even have cable anymore. B: Well, listen, good for you. I personally haven’t even owned a TV since 2008, but nevertheless, I am happy fo...
These are some all-time favorites with Refind users.
Oh My Fucking God, Get the Fucking Vaccine Already, You Fucking Fucks
Hi, if you are reading this essay then congratulations, you are still alive. And if you are alive, then you have either gotten the COVID-19 vaccine...
Sure, the Velociraptors Are Still On the Loose, But That’s No Reason Not to Reopen Jurassic Park
“Trump is shrugging off warnings by scientists that the easing restrictions taking place across the country could cause tens of thousands of death...
The UX on this Small Child Is Terrible
Not only am I VP of Reproduction for this household, but I’ve also been the end-user of this Small Child for over three years now. I’m going to giv...
Vaccine Side Effect, or Have You Just Been Alive for 40 Years?
Did you get the COVID-19 vaccine? A) Yes, because I’m ready to get back out there and start partying again! B) Yes, because I am haunted ...
Here’s How Time Works Now
Here at Time, we’ve made a few changes you may already be experiencing that we think you should know about. Please see below. A Minute A minute use...
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