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Anger is a fuel that’s dangerous when out of control. But managed well, it can energise you to identify and confront problems Open at source
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The School of Life
Learning How to Be AngryThe School of Life
3 min read · Aug 13th · There are many reasons to believe that one of the dominant problems in the world today is an excess of anger. We know all about the very shouty and their antics: their tantrums, their lack of reason,…
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but paradoxically, preternaturally good behaviour is usually a precursor of bad feelings, and in extremes mental unwellness, in adulthood
At work, an unwavering concern for politeness, empathy and gentleness may end up providing the perfect preconditions for being walked all over.
The goal is a firm but self-possessed protest: Excuse me, but you are ruining what’s left of my life, I’m so sorry, but you are cauterising my chances of happiness; I beg your pardon, but this is enough…
Psychology Today
Positive Psychology Takes a New Look at HappinessPsychology Today
5 min read · 2020-07-07 · When happiness means more than feeling good.
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The Guardian
Beat the clock: the surprising psychology behind being perpetually lateThe Guardian
2 min read · 2020-01-01 · There are as many reasons for unpunctuality as there are habitually tardy people – and the underlying reasons can be complex
psychology
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Psychology Today
10 Tips for Turning Procrastination into PrecrastinationPsychology Today
7 min read · Jan 26th · How to get started with getting started.
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The humanistic psychologist Abraham Maslow distinguished between two types of choices we make, fear choices and growth choices. A fear choice is born of insecurity, a choice made for the sake of security or safety, driven by a need to avoid failure or disappointment. But at what cost? We may turn down a promising job opportunity, thinking it isn’t a good fit, when in fact our choice is based on avoiding potential failure. On the other hand, when we make a growth choice, we put reward over risk, choosing to do something, despite the risk, that might make our life more meaningful or rewarding. As Maslow wrote, “One can choose to go back toward safety or forward toward growth. Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be overcome again and again.” So which will be the determinant of the choices you make in life, fear or growth?
Procrastination is reinforced by a powerful reward—relief from anxiety.
Apply the "good enough" standard to yourself. You don’t have to be perfect. You just need to be good enough. Setting unrealistically high standards prevents you from trying because of the fear of not meeting the unreasonable expectations you place on yourself.
The New York Times
What Makes Some People More Resilient Than OthersThe New York Times
6 min read · 2020-06-18 · The very earliest days of our lives, and our closest relationships, can offer clues about how we cope with adversity.
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The Atlantic
A Counterintuitive Way to Cheer Up When You’re DownThe Atlantic
4 min read · Mar 4th · When you most need to get happier, try giving happiness away.
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In other words, you can’t make others happy unless and until you are happy yourself
The Atlantic in 2011, longitudinal studies of families show that one person’s unhappiness can be “poison” to others in close proximity. Wallace noted that women married to unhappy men tend to be unhealthier and live shorter lives than those married to happy men; children whose mothers have a happy marriage are 18 percentage points more likely to be happy at home than those with mothers in an unhappy marriage
Fortunately, research also shows that we have more control over how we affect others—and ourselves—than we might assume. The key is to act like a happy person would, even if you don’t feel like it.
Psychology Today
The Secret to HappinessPsychology Today
5 min read · Jul 13th · Deep happiness has one rule: you cannot put anything above your happiness.
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When we realize that we can still achieve happiness no matter what, we’ll find that all we have to do is flow with life and take each day as they come.
Happiness is our natural state, as long as we let go of certain "conditions" for happiness.
The hardest part is that we must want this happiness over everything. This isn’t always second nature for everyone and may take some reminders while we reframe our mindsets. But with time you’ll find that your inner peace will remain intact no matter what’s going on in the outside world, and that is a beautiful gift.
The Atlantic
How to Buy HappinessThe Atlantic
5 min read · Apr 15th · The joys of money are nothing without other people.
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At low levels, money improves well-being. Once you earn a solid living, however, a billionaire is not likely to be any happier than you are.
Just because most people generally don’t get happier as they get richer beyond a certain point doesn’t mean that they can’t. In fact, no matter where we sit on the income scale, with a little knowledge and practice any of us can use money to bring more happiness.
At low levels, money improves well-being. Once you earn a solid living, however, a billionaire is not likely to be any happier than you are.
NPR
How To Say No, For The People Pleaser Who Always Says YesNPR
4 min read · 2020-09-23 · Constantly saying yes to everything and everyone drains us of time and energy. This episode helps explain the roots of people-pleasing behaviors and how you can say no more often.
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If you do things from a place of guilt or obligation, it is guaranteed to lead to resentment," she says. Because when a people pleaser doesn't see someone spending the same amount of time or energy on them, that can make the people pleaser feel robbed.
A hard no is clear, concise and brief — "No, thank you" or a "Thanks so much for asking. But I'm not able to this week."  A soft no might be easier for a recovering people pleaser. That's when you give more of an explanation.  For example: "Thank you so much for asking me to do this project. It sounds really exciting, but I don't have the bandwidth for it at this time." Simple.
When your top priority is to be liked all the time, you aren't in touch with what you need.
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