“I would prefer to be special than happy.” He asked why. “Anyone can do the things it takes to be happy—going on vacation with family, relaxing with friends … but not everyone can accomplish great things.”
“We are not only gregarious animals, liking to be in sight of our fellows, but we have an innate propensity to get ourselves noticed, and noticed favorably, by our kind.”
6 min read · 2020-02-14 · Engaging with the unfamiliar can keep mind and body fit. So how to pump up one’s levels of curiosity?
But as people age, their reservoirs of curiosity tend to dry up. Studies have found that, on average, a person’s openness to new experiences and new sensations declines steadily with age. At the same time, apathy increases. While plenty of older adults buck these trends, there’s some truth to the cliché of the narrow-minded, novelty-averse fogey who rigidly adheres to his time-worn routines and opinions.
And in people both young and old, research has found that high and consistent levels of curiosity correlate with mental well-being and life satisfaction. Curious people also seem protected from depression.
The more that experts examine curiosity, the more they find evidence to suggest that it’s the secret sauce in a happy, fulfilling life. “If you take the fundamental things that people tend to want out of life — strong social relationships and happiness and accomplishing things — all of these are highly linked to curiosity,” says Todd Kashdan, a professor of psychology at George Mason University and author of Curious?
Pursuers need to become more responsible for themselves and distancers more responsible to their partners. Anxious types must learn to go slow in dating. Distancers need to uncover their vulnerability, honor their need for love, set boundaries verbally, and learn to receive. The result is a more secure interdependent relationship, rather than a codependent relationship or solitude with a false sense of self-sufficiency
6 min read · Aug 20th · A new psychological study says that "psychological richness" can be one important dimension of a full life.
A psychologically rich life is one characterized by 'interesting experiences in which novelty and/or complexity are accompanied by profound changes in perspective'.
Regardless of the specifics, you may experience suffering but still find value in how your experience shapes your understanding of yourself and the world around you.
Adding psychological richness to our conceptions of what a good life can look like, Westgate says, is important because it “makes room for challenge and difficulty. It’s not just about ‘everything going well and smoothly.’ Stretching and going through uncomfortable experiences, there is value in that.”
~19 min read · Jul 15th · The disappearing divide between “followers” and “friends”
For online creators and internet influencers, sharing intimate details about their lives is now part of the job description.
For some, these information bytes form the basis of a parasocial relationship: instead of discussing a recent video posted by “someone they follow,” a fan might speak about “someone they know,” going so far as to refer to their favorite creator as a friend.
In time, the devotee – the ‘fan’ – comes to believe that he ‘knows’ the persona more intimately and profoundly than others do; that he ‘understands’ his character and appreciates his values and motives.
4 min read · May 20th · How to overcome this surce of anxiety to achieve your goals
With success comes change. This fuels anxiety because we are creatures of habit who find comfort in our routines. We hesitate to enter uncharted waters even if this is our best course of action.
The fear of success can prevent you from reaching your goals. The first step to overcome this fear is to develop self-awareness and understand how it presents in your life. Detecting this fear may be subtle if it takes on the form of procrastination
When we are anxious, we zoom in on our fears. We fixate on the worst-case scenario even if it has a low probability of occurring. We treat our worries as inevitable and imminent even if they are only hypothetical scenarios that live in our minds