3 min read · Jul 17th · Facing the logical fallacies that fuel painful emotional patterns and what it takes to break them with dignity, mindfulness, and emotional maturity.
While the death of a loved one can make the notion of moving on unfathomable at first, it also makes it, by definition, inevitable — there is no other recourse, for such loss is unambiguous and irreversible.
Because the unwillingness to walk away from a hurtful person is rooted in the belief that people change, the predicament gnaws at the fundaments of human nature and our ongoing effort to better understand what we are made of.
Perhaps Arendt captured this best — this great paradox and great heartbreak of relationships with unhealed people, this false and dangerous optimism that we can ever love someone out of their trauma — in her observation that “you can’t expect somebody who loves you to treat you less cruelly than he would treat himself.”
5 min read · Aug 4th · Struggling to understand is perfectly honourable. Being wilfully stupid is something else and we should strive to fix it
At its heart was the idea that stupidity was not mere ‘dumbness’, not a brute lack of processing power. Dumbness, for Musil, was ‘straightforward’, indeed almost ‘honourable’. Stupidity was something very different and much more dangerous: dangerous precisely because some of the smartest people, the least dumb, were often the most stupid.
What exactly is stupidity? How does it relate to morality: can you be morally good and stupid, for example?
Stupidity is rather one specific and stubborn cause of error.
8 min read · 2020-02-26 · It's not simple. But it's part of being human.
advised asking for change if situations arise that might violate your boundaries, like if someone speaks to you in a way that you don't like. "With tone of voice, if you decide that contempt, impatience and irritation is not acceptable, the next time it happens, simply say, 'Please don't talk to me like that,' and just be firm and don't engage when someone is speaking to you in a tone that is unacceptable to you,"
"Journaling is also an outlet for processing emotions, and doing it on an ongoing basis can help increase your self-awareness."
Approval-seeking is usually a childhood-created coping strategy. Did you feel a need to get love from your parents and create ways to gain their approval? Did you struggle to make friends at school, and subsequently develop a fear of being rejected?" she said. "By identifying where the approval-seeking started, you can identify the types of situations that trigger your need for approval in your current life."
~19 min read · Jul 15th · The disappearing divide between “followers” and “friends”
For online creators and internet influencers, sharing intimate details about their lives is now part of the job description.
For some, these information bytes form the basis of a parasocial relationship: instead of discussing a recent video posted by “someone they follow,” a fan might speak about “someone they know,” going so far as to refer to their favorite creator as a friend.
In time, the devotee – the ‘fan’ – comes to believe that he ‘knows’ the persona more intimately and profoundly than others do; that he ‘understands’ his character and appreciates his values and motives.