~19 min read · Jul 15th · The disappearing divide between “followers” and “friends”
For online creators and internet influencers, sharing intimate details about their lives is now part of the job description.
In time, the devotee – the ‘fan’ – comes to believe that he ‘knows’ the persona more intimately and profoundly than others do; that he ‘understands’ his character and appreciates his values and motives.
“The interaction, characteristically, is one-sided, nondialectical, controlled by the performer, and not susceptible of mutual development.”
3 min read · Jul 17th · Facing the logical fallacies that fuel painful emotional patterns and what it takes to break them with dignity, mindfulness, and emotional maturity.
While the death of a loved one can make the notion of moving on unfathomable at first, it also makes it, by definition, inevitable — there is no other recourse, for such loss is unambiguous and irreversible.
Because the unwillingness to walk away from a hurtful person is rooted in the belief that people change, the predicament gnaws at the fundaments of human nature and our ongoing effort to better understand what we are made of.
Perhaps Arendt captured this best — this great paradox and great heartbreak of relationships with unhealed people, this false and dangerous optimism that we can ever love someone out of their trauma — in her observation that “you can’t expect somebody who loves you to treat you less cruelly than he would treat himself.”
10 min read · 2020-02-21 · February 2020What should an essay be? Many people would say persuasive. That's what a lot of us were taught essays should be. But I think we can aim for something more ambitious: that an essay should…
Precision and correctness are like opposing forces. It's easy to satisfy one if you ignore the other.
Useful writing tells people something true and important that they didn't already know, and tells them as unequivocally as possible.
You can't ensure that every idea you have is good, but you can ensure that every one you publish is, by simply not publishing the ones that aren't.